Tag Archives: Google

Burnt by Cold!

The outgoing winters always have a track record of leaving me fumbling with a runny nose or a sore throat. As expected, it happened this time around too. But what happened next was un-thought of earlier. In one of my impulsive phases, I shot a question at a few friends.

The answers left me speechless and also glad that for a change, I caught a cold which didn’t affect my brain. Or did it?

The question was : If I cut my nose, will it help me get rid of my cold?

Person 1 : “You surely won’t be able to breathe.”

  • That sounds like my answer¬†– 90% of the time. But I was in the 10% bucket right now. So that’s not coming from me today, at least.

Person 2 : “I tried to Google it. But I couldn’t find anything concrete.”

This is my favorite answer! From my favorite person! And for you, all I’ll say today is :

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Person 3 : “No. Mad woman!”

  • Okay! I got you. Jeez. Relax. I am not really going to cut my nose off, irrespective of how much I’d like it to be sharper and longer. But, nope, not cutting it off!

Person 4 : “Drink some ginger juice. Steam some water. It’ll help get rid of the cold.”

  • Nah, this one ain’t a doctor. But this one worries about me, sometimes a little too much to get the humour in the question, probably! Just saying. ūüėČ

Person 5 : “You could try it. If it works out, let me know as well. I’ll join the club.”

  • Someone help me out now! It’s important this one joins my club! She is after all, my sister! Yes, the craziness runs in the blood!

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Person 6 : “Definitely!”

  • Surprised, I asked the person another question. “What do I do with the blood?” Yes, there was a response. “Pass it off as pomegranate juice and give it to someone to drink!” Speechless!

What would you say to me? Go ahead, sharpen your wit, improve your humour and answer me.

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : The cold’s gone now. The nose is still there. I wonder if Voldemort is jealous of me. ūüėõ

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Thought Flash #7

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Warning : Quick Geography lesson ending in History!

Look out at the sky tonight. Every night. Till you can shift your gaze from the waning (or waxing, depends on when you’re reading this) moon, to the dimming stars barely giving us a glimpse from the clouds, haze and dust these days.

The Sun is the nearest star to our planet. Go a little further and you have the Proxima Centauri which is 4.2421 light years away. A quick Google search indicates that the top ten nearest stars to the Earth are all within ten light years away from us.

Do you know what this means? There are a billion stars around us we can lay our terribly limited human eyes on. And the light coming from them that helps us see them is from a lot of years ago! 4.2421 years in case of the Proxima Centauri. Or 10.322 years in case of Ross 248, the tenth nearest star. Or ULAS J0015+01, the farthest star from the Earth which is 900,000 light years away.

As you look into the sky, you, my dear friend, are literally staring into the past! Every single night! Those stars may have long moved away or collapsed or given birth to black holes today, but you get to be a part of their history by simply casting a look at them.

Graciously Yours!

P.S. :¬†Maybe somewhere, from one of those celestial bodies, a past you could be staring back at the present you in the multiverse! I’ll stop right there. ūüôā

Picture Courtesy : Martin Mark.

 

Project For Awesome 2015.

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Have you heard of the Project for Awesome? If you haven’t, it’s time to brace yourself for a dash of awesome!

Project for Awesome (P4A) is a community-driven charitable movement organised, since 2007, by some of the world’s online content creators (the ones running those fancy YouTube channels which educate you, make you think and are proof that¬†empathy isn’t dead) to raise donations for various charities, including UNHCR and Save The Children. They encourage people to upload videos supporting¬†the charity they believe in and the ones voted for as best are added on to the list of charities which will benefit from P4A.

One of the fun things they’re doing is running a 48 hour live stream, where they’re constantly encouraging people to donate, announcing random on-the-spot perks for donors and discussions ranging from the refugee crisis to live football commentary and dubious college advice! It may involve a lot of peanut butter, sharpies and whipped cream too. You have to see it to believe it! ūüėČ

The 48 hour live stream has people like John Green – author of Looking for Alaska, The Fault in our Stars, Paper Towns, et al., vlogger, host of Mental Floss and Crash Course, Hank Green – it’s difficult to explain what he actually does, because he is an entrepreneur, musician, and vlogger, creator of VidCon, and hosts Crash Course, SciShow, SciShow Space, hankschannel and much more, Katherine Green, Michael Aranda¬†and a lot of others whom I don’t recognize but I am sure are¬†all awesome people.

This isn’t a sponsored post but rather a shout out for the brilliant (voluntary) work they are all doing. Even the packaging and shipping of perks to the donors is being done by volunteers.

To donate or not is your choice but I can ensure you it’ll be a lot of fun to go on to the livestream and simply check out the wonderful work they are doing, which is better explained here.

And as they say in John’s home town, Don’t Forget To Be Awesome (DFTBA)!

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : At the time of this post going online, Project For Awesome 2015 has raised $562,891 which when matched by donations from Google and the Green Brothers, amount to a whopping $1,346,611!

Green brothers and team, you’ve shown me the power of individuals and social media! Thank you.

Hurry over! Only 9 hours, some minutes left before the project ends.

Life Notes #10.

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Among the few worldly possessions I own, these are a few stones that I have. Actually they are more like pebbles from river beds. I’ll leave you guessing how I ever even laid my hands on them!

I took them out after a really long time today. A friend suggested an idea which I turned down initially but later seemed appealing to me in my boredom. The idea was primitive! Literally. Could we start a fire with these stones?

I tried it obviously. Under parental guidance! The only guidance my mother had was “Please keep the stones away from your face.”

I tried. I struck the pebbles hard and fast against each other. I was eagerly waiting for¬†a¬†spark to ignite! I’m sure if you looked into my eyes then, you could have seen the sparks of excitement! Well, turns out they were the only sparks.

You know how long I tried? I tried for almost four times the attention span of average humans. I tried for 30 whole seconds.

Well it’s not my fault that¬†humans on an average have an attention span of eight seconds now. We’re down from twelve¬†seconds in 2000. Even¬†a goldfish has an¬†attention span¬†of¬†nine seconds¬†average, a full one second more than ours! Yes, that teeny weeny goldfish which has a teenier weenier brain weighing 0.097 grams (Average human brain weighs¬†1.5 kilogram).

Note to self : Primitive life wouldn’t suit me. I think¬†that the primitive man/woman who first started the fire by striking the stones for,¬†apparently, a very, very long time was more angry than bored! Boredom suits me. Anger¬†doesn’t. I’m happier without pebble fire!

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : How long would it really have taken to ignite a spark though? Anyone knows? Or is it all up to Google again?

How Not To …?

I’ve been meaning to write this for a really long time but something or the other delays it! Now, I can finally remove this from my¬†drafts¬†and put it on to the blog for all of you to savor.

One of those days when I was checking how good Google (India) is, I randomly typed “how not to” and I was awarded with such hilarious, disturbing and innovative questions that I just had to share it.

1. How not to get pregnant?

Okay, this one makes sense¬†considering how¬†desperately¬†we’re trying to go for population control in India! Also points me towards how many nerve wrecked young girls there might be in my¬†country¬†presently. (But, shh! The countless Indians who, hailing from the¬†land of Kamasutra, still believe¬†sex to be a taboo might take offence!)

 

2. How not to make money?

Strange. Why would someone not want to make money? But then it dawns on me. Considering the Indian politicians make hundreds of crores a year through scams and scams only while flouting all sorts of laws of the land, they might be looking towards the Google magic to find more innovative and devious ways to loot the public!

 

3. How not to fall in love?.

Why! Oh why! Why would you not want to fall in love? Don’t go for the possessive, controlling, obsessed sort of love but what about the relaxing, serene, completing sort of love? Unless, they’re trying to find out ways to not fall in love with the numerous beautiful lasses who ‘rule’ Bollywood not based on their acting skills but based on their PR, make-up artist¬†and stylist’s skills. Then it really is acceptable! Go ahead and give me some tips too. For The Guy Friend I have. He’s completely bonkers for a certain Katrina Kaif.

 

4. How not to be lazy?

I’ll tell you how. Get your lazy ass up from the chair, keep your phone aside and start doing your work! That’s how.

 

And here’s my question which I would like to ask Google.

How not to use Google?

What’s your¬†How not to …?

Waiting!

 

Graciously Yours!