Tag Archives: technology

#NationWantsToKnow?

There are some days when life does not make sense.

Then there are more days when your manager does not make sense.

Then come a lot of days when the news does not make sense. Picking up a few of those gems!

What say you? Are you prepared to ruin your good day? Well, or maybe brighten up a bad day? ūüėõ

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Despacito = slowly!

Like the article mentions “Despacito is a song in Spanish about slow love making.” Translated lyrics here. For so many of us Indians and also non Indians out there who think sex is and should remain a taboo, here goes. The song you so love to jive and hum, blabber words you don’t even know the meaning of and think that Spanish is only spoken in Spain, wake up! Life just dealt you a joker. Now what will you do with it?

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Mr. VP – I would wonder about the why rather than the what.

Okay, call me demeaning, if you want. But if this would have happened at a Railway Station washroom, I’d go all, ‘Maybe there have been worrisome incidents in there and there’s a context that isn’t being reported.” But if you tell me that a Church had to take such a step for women’s safety, then well, I’ll return in a while with my argument after laughing my guts out. The Church also needs to be worried about women’s safety in their premises now? Or is this an excuse for men to now make us more worried than we already are about our safety so that they can have a good, authorised peep show. Wonder if the CCTV footage reviewers also have to take the vow of celibacy.

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So I understand we’re going all digital and laptop usage is at an all time high. Yeah, well, you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure that bit out. But what I am left wondering is why is Cambridge scrapping exams due to bad handwriting? We could have done this with the thought of saving paper, contributing towards cutting lesser trees, maybe slow down global warming or at least be happy about having done something to slow it down, even though it seems inevitable now. But no, we’re scrapping it because the handwriting is illegible? How thick brained are we really?

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Yes, that is an iPhone screenshot. Not owned by Yours Truly. Duh.

Oh, yes! News of the week. The iPhone 8 got launched. The iPhone 8S too. And the iPhoneX too. Poor iPhone 8 and 8S. They became obsolete within two minutes of their launch! Need I say more?

Then this happened. Bewakoof.com which when translated in English means foolish, lived up to their name for the first time. They launched a tShirtX. You shouldn’t think so out of the box also. Too much of anything is bad!

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Living up to thy name!

And with that I’ll end my tirade and only ask one thing – does the nation really want to know these news? #NationWantsToKnow.

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : What have you come across of recent that you want to rant against? Tell me. Maybe we think alike!

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The Rose.

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“Ouch,” she uttered, pulling back her finger from the rose stem. A thorn had pricked her and a drop of blood lay on her finger, perfectly placed like it always belonged there. She smiled.

“Got yourself another prick, did you now?” her husband asked, as he sat in the hall, immersed in the morning’s papers on his iPad.

“Why can’t he just buy those traditional newspapers?” she wondered. She wasn’t an e-paper girl.

“Why don’t you hire a gardener for your plants?” he asked, the umpteenth time. “You keep pricking yourself.”

She didn’t answer. The umpteenth time. He wouldn’t be able to come to terms with it.

The first time she’d pricked herself was when her first lover had brought her some from his own garden, ten years ago.They’d never gotten married. But her love for him had not died.

He loved her rose garden. He was coming for dinner tonight.

The first prick had made her squirm. Now it made her smile.

Graciously Yours!

Lost and Found.

He was rummaging through old letters his deceased wife had written him during a long marriage and before. He also found his first and only Valentine Day card from thirty years ago.

Tears welled his eyes immediately when he read and re-read the sender’s name etched in crayons. He called her. This would be his first conversation with her in more than two years. “I want to take you out for dinner today. Will you be my valentine?”

She wasn’t sure if she should even receive the call but she did. “Me? But, Daadu. Also, today is the 21st of January,” said his recently divorced thirty eight year old grand daughter.

“I¬†found the¬†Valentine Day card you’d made for me years ago,” he said, not going into further details.

Eyes closed, she pursed her lips and barely managed to say, “I’ll pick you up at seven PM today,” before tears brimming with¬†happiness rolled down her cheeks.

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Graciously Yours!

Thought Flash #7

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Warning : Quick Geography lesson ending in History!

Look out at the sky tonight. Every night. Till you can shift your gaze from the waning (or waxing, depends on when you’re reading this) moon, to the dimming stars barely giving us a glimpse from the clouds, haze and dust these days.

The Sun is the nearest star to our planet. Go a little further and you have the Proxima Centauri which is 4.2421 light years away. A quick Google search indicates that the top ten nearest stars to the Earth are all within ten light years away from us.

Do you know what this means? There are a billion stars around us we can lay our terribly limited human eyes on. And the light coming from them that helps us see them is from a lot of years ago! 4.2421 years in case of the Proxima Centauri. Or 10.322 years in case of Ross 248, the tenth nearest star. Or ULAS J0015+01, the farthest star from the Earth which is 900,000 light years away.

As you look into the sky, you, my dear friend, are literally staring into the past! Every single night! Those stars may have long moved away or collapsed or given birth to black holes today, but you get to be a part of their history by simply casting a look at them.

Graciously Yours!

P.S. :¬†Maybe somewhere, from one of those celestial bodies, a past you could be staring back at the present you in the multiverse! I’ll stop right there. ūüôā

Picture Courtesy : Martin Mark.

 

The Presence of The Past.

They say if you blink, you miss it. We waited impatiently, clicking pictures of others and selfies of ourselves, being photo bombed and photo bombing others, all the while creating memories which we probably wouldn’t refer back to again. Not because they wouldn’t be¬†memorable. But because we create too many of them these days.

We were waiting for the lights at the famous Mysore Palace to go on. They say it looks enchanting. It is a work of technology which brings out the magnanimity of the work of art. It requires a single flick of a switch to light up thousands of little bulbs. 98,260 to be precise.

The Sun had set. Darkness had fallen. People were still clicking. Cameras were flashing. And just like that without any warning, without waiting for the clock to strike a particular hour,  the lights went on! And enchanting it was!

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Who would have thought a century ago that beauty could be kept locked up in pixels? Who would have predicted that you could hold the whole world worth of information just in your hands? How different our achievements are from those of our forefathers. They took pride in bigger and better; we in smaller and faster. They built with brick and mortar; we build with silicon and carbon. Their memories faded with time; ours with obsolescence. Their achievements were the heritage; ours is technology.

Graciously Yours!

 
Picture Courtesy : In collaboration with Ashwini Bhat.

Spam Alert!

Technology at times, rears its ill head out of the muck in the most comical of ways possible.

I got spammed by someone yesterday who randomly found my number from a service called ‘TrueCaller’ and sent me a friendship request on ‘Whatsapp’. ¬†So with advancement of technology, these¬†unwanted friendship requests from strangers have advanced from Orkut then Facebook and now Whatsapp. I found a novel way to wriggle out of it! Novel for me, don’t know about you.

Check it out :

And that was the last I heard from him! ūüėÄ

Graciously Yours!

How Not To …?

I’ve been meaning to write this for a really long time but something or the other delays it! Now, I can finally remove this from my¬†drafts¬†and put it on to the blog for all of you to savor.

One of those days when I was checking how good Google (India) is, I randomly typed “how not to” and I was awarded with such hilarious, disturbing and innovative questions that I just had to share it.

1. How not to get pregnant?

Okay, this one makes sense¬†considering how¬†desperately¬†we’re trying to go for population control in India! Also points me towards how many nerve wrecked young girls there might be in my¬†country¬†presently. (But, shh! The countless Indians who, hailing from the¬†land of Kamasutra, still believe¬†sex to be a taboo might take offence!)

 

2. How not to make money?

Strange. Why would someone not want to make money? But then it dawns on me. Considering the Indian politicians make hundreds of crores a year through scams and scams only while flouting all sorts of laws of the land, they might be looking towards the Google magic to find more innovative and devious ways to loot the public!

 

3. How not to fall in love?.

Why! Oh why! Why would you not want to fall in love? Don’t go for the possessive, controlling, obsessed sort of love but what about the relaxing, serene, completing sort of love? Unless, they’re trying to find out ways to not fall in love with the numerous beautiful lasses who ‘rule’ Bollywood not based on their acting skills but based on their PR, make-up artist¬†and stylist’s skills. Then it really is acceptable! Go ahead and give me some tips too. For The Guy Friend I have. He’s completely bonkers for a certain Katrina Kaif.

 

4. How not to be lazy?

I’ll tell you how. Get your lazy ass up from the chair, keep your phone aside and start doing your work! That’s how.

 

And here’s my question which I would like to ask Google.

How not to use Google?

What’s your¬†How not to …?

Waiting!

 

Graciously Yours!

When “Whatsapp” replaced “Wassup?” which replaced “What’s up?”

I was pinging my friend on Whatsapp when I got a call from my aunt. On the other end was my eight year old cousin.

And then I faced my most embarrassing moment in the short term duration of things!

Continue reading When “Whatsapp” replaced “Wassup?” which replaced “What’s up?”