Tag Archives: mirage

Life Notes #13.

Is happiness an illusion? Or is the search for happiness a mirage that lures you until you’re too lost to even know so?

News media often carries reports of people who have failed to measure success in their acts – standards of success that the society set for us all, marks in examinations, money in jobs, marriage by a certain age, being a mother – suffer from depression and end their lives.

But once in a while you also come across relatively successful people, who have much more means, who have earned more respect than the average individual, yet they too suffer from depression. A couple of years ago, a well-known Bollywood actress Deepika Padukone, opened up about reclaiming her life from the dark clutches of depression. She shared her vulnerability with the world at large, and very bravely so. She made depression a household phrase, more rightly and less commonly used from then on.

Just in came news of an IPS officer, aged merely 30, who committed suicide, apparently due to depression. The case is still under investigation so it is possible the facts of the case might change later. But becoming an IPS officer is an achievement few have been able to boast about in the country. Out of 9 lakh aspirants each year, merely 200 are able to achieve the glory. And it requires you to slog your ass off! I know it because I’ve myself given it a shot or two. He was just 30. But being an IPS officer must have meant he was immensely respected and an immensely powerful carrier of change. Despite what I think would have been an ideal place in life, he was under depression. And depression strong enough to lead him to end his life – which means sharing his plight with others hadn’t helped, hoping that he had. It saddens me to think that someone in his stature, position and with the visibility among people he had, the visibility his work demanded, the best of therapists he could afford, he still believed the death was the solution. That deprived his soul felt!

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I know there could have been circumstances at work or at home which may not have ended in a rosy life. I know there could have been sufferings in his past that had led to this step. I know there could have been therapists and medicines but they didn’t work. I know all of it. I acknowledge that I do not know the full story. But I fear the fear depression institutes in people, the helplessness it causes, the grief it brings to our beings.

And that is what leads me to think:

Is happiness an illusion? Or is the search for happiness a mirage that lures you until you’re too lost to even know so?

Graciously Yours!

From ‘broken’ to just ‘tangled’.


Every now and then we all have to make decisions. Decide about whether we wish to live in the past or move ahead through newer, unknown doors; whether we wish to cling to the unfulfilled dreams in the hope that they will someday become your future reality or rush into the loving arms of the present and embrace the smaller but happier moments.

Living in the past isn’t easy. With those beautiful memories and closely held dreams comes the pain and ache of holding onto them. You wake up each morning hoping that today will be the day and you sleep every night with the disappointment and pacify yourself by teaching your heart not to expect. Then one day you wake up without the pain and the hope. Not because your dreams came true, but because you ceased to feel.
All this while, you do keep looking around, living your life in general when suddenly one very fine day, the Gods smile down at you! You feel lighter, happier, different and you want to let go of those pains. But you’re afraid. Because you’re venturing into unknown territory. This happiness is new, unwarranted, and surreal. You treat it like a mirage. You want to fight it. You are apprehensive.

This is when you need to decide. The known past or unknown present? The known, painful past or the unknown, happier present? The known, painful, trying past or the unknown, happier, beautiful present?

You have but one life and you have every right to your fair share of smiles.
I chose to let go of the past and embrace my happier present.
And you?

Graciously Yours!