Tag Archives: maggi

11 outta 10!

Scene 1.

A mother-daughter duo peacefully watching a Tom Cruise film. He’s just started to run.

Mother gets a call. Daughter gets to hear only one side of the conversation.

Mother : Hello ji. Salutations!

Mother : All well, yes!

Mother : Oh! No, not really.

Mother’s tone is now changing. On the screen, Tom Cruise is running faster!

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Mother : Of course!

Mother gives daughter a look. Daughter knows this look. A storm is approaching.

Mother : It’s not a problem at all!

Mother : See you! Buh-bye!

Tom Cruise is still running. The man needs to learn when to stop! Mother pauses his film. Cruise is cruising in the air.

Scene 2.

Half an hour has passed. Mother is in the kitchen. Daughter is cleaning up the place. Guests are coming over for lunch, having self-invited themselves! Time to refurbish the house!

Daughter looks around the hall. Pleased with herself at having cleaned up early.

Daughter : Mom, it’s done! I’ve cleaned up the place.

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Mother (peeks out of the kitchen) : What’s done? Fluff those cushions. Put your shoes back in the rack. I still see things on the dining table! Why is your mobile on charge? And will you shut off the music! It’s getting on my nerves!

Flabbergasted Daughter : Umm, Mom? I’ll go out in an hour, remember. Why put the shoes back then? And the things on the dining table? They’re called cutlery. In which you’ll serve them food. But if you want, I can get banana leaves! And my mobile is on charge because it is very normal to charge mobiles! Like we stay here, remember? And Kishore Kumar is getting on your nerves?

Mother (barely audible over a running grinder) : You’re not going anywhere. Not when  I have guests over! And do what I ask you to do!

Daughter (sighing in exasperation) : Of course, I am not going anywhere now. Time to shut you down today, Cruise. Mom’s not going to be watching you save the world today. She’s too busy going bonkers.

Mother : Will you get me the vegetables from the refrigerator?

Daughter (laptop, speakers, mobile, chargers all under her arms) : Well, if you’d asked me to, then I would. But you never did.

Mother : Keep these devices away. And get me the vegetables now!

Daughter : Yes, Madam!

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Mother : And hurry up!

Scene 3.

The guests have arrived. Lunch has been had. Now is the wait. The wait for them to leave.

Guest 1 : The food was so good! How did you manage to make it so soon?

Mother : Oh nothing of the sort. I was as it is planning on making something special for lunch today.

Daughter (thinking to herself) : If only they knew that the lunch special was two minutes of maggi!

Guest 2 : Then we should come over more often!

Mother and daughter look at each other and then smile at the guests.

Mother : Why not!

Daughter : Why? Umm, not.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how worked up is your mother when guests are to arrive? Mine is 11! 😉

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : Any similarity to actual events or persons, living or dead, is NOT coincidental. Any character and event depicted here is NOT fictitious. Similarity to actual events or persons, living or dead, is NOT coincidental.

 

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Of bad singers and good ad campaigns.

The laws of Calcutta seem beyond my grasp at times. It’s almost midnight and there’s a live musical performance going on right behind my place for no reason whatsoever! At least, there’s no festival I am aware of. Christmas doesn’t call for such celebration and Durga Puja is a good ten months away!

Singers have been shouting into the microphones, speakers have been blaring, peace is being held hostage for the past five hours. At least. Why am I so irritated? Because good songs and better singers are welcome at such shows. But when the singers sound like they have bullfrogs bellowing inside of them and the noise they’re creating is on the higher side of the allowed decibel level, sleep is tossed out of the window (panes of which are vibrating!) and the post which is published is probably the tenth draft of the fourth idea which struck me while I was trying to clamp my ears with cotton, mufflers and pillows.

Distracting myself to write this post and I end up writing about what I am supposed to distract myself from! Silly me.

So you think diamonds are a girl’s best friend? And that if your fiance, husband or even boyfriend doesn’t gift you diamonds, his love for you isn’t forever? (Because diamonds last forever – forgive the analogy. All that noise is slowing me down.)

Well, congratulations! You have been duped by a very long continuing and massively successful advertising campaign started around the mid 1900’s to ensure the sudden bounty of diamonds being mined do not lose out on their previously high prices! The advertising campaign emphasized on the non-existent necessity of diamonds to be an intricate part of the holy matrimony! And thus began the race to buy diamonds, the end line of which is far from visible even today.

This reminds me of another advertising campaign which saved an entire brand from getting ruined. The Nestle India Maggi campaign! An offshoot video that I found is worth the time and smile. Specially for those who love both Maggi and Bollywood.

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : In case reading this post will result in future savings in your bank account, don’t forget to send me a thank you note! 😉 You’d make my day.

We want bans.

Of recent, the Indian Government has been ridiculously infamous for banning a lot of things in India. A few instances which flash momentarily when I think of the word ‘ban’ are the ban on Uber, ban on the BBC documentary India’s Daughter, ban on Nestle Maggi and the latest in the series is the meat ban!

Since it seems like the nature to ban things won’t change any time soon, here’s a list of bans which could make the Government look slightly better in the eyes of the common people. Free PR advice! Take it more than you leave it.

  • India is a multicultural, multilingual, multiracial, multireligion (if such a word exists) country. The number of Hindu Gods alone are 330 million. One can barely fathom truly how many festivals India celebrates in a year. Here in Calcutta, almost each area has a separate pandal (makeshift bamboo structures, often elaborate and adorned) which house bigger-than-life-sized clay structures of the Gods and Goddesses as per the occasion. And there are speakers installed at each one of those which play music almost all round the festival day. Which music, you’d ask. Spiritual music, you’d expect. They play Bollywood songs. Most of which had been created by the music directors purely for the purpose of being danced on after downing a few shots at the pub. This needs to be banned, if not to spare us mortals, then at least to spare the Gods from listening to that rubbish. (A friend tells me that even blood donation camps organised by some local clubs are a flimsy excuse for playing loud music all day long.)
  • There’s a beautiful and talented cousin, Sarita, who thinks it would be a favour to ban indecent and tasteless ‘creative’ musical content produced by some artists rather than crackers on Diwali! Hers is a strong demand but then of late that is exactly what we’ve been treated to. For all those who’re unaware of what I am talking about, here’s a short list :

Laila Teri Le Legi

One Two Three Four

Dhating Naach

Saree Ke Fall Sa

Aaj Blue Hai Paani

On a serious note, I’ve met kids, both affluent and poor, who recite these crude lyrics faster than the multiplication table of 13. And if that isn’t a cause for concern, then I’ll have to look up the meaning of concern again.

  • Vartika, a friend, complains about the usage of footpaths as roads by two wheelers. (Another friend was travelling by a three-wheeler auto when the auto driver chose to drive on the footpath scaring the life out of her!) Neha from Joie de Vivre wants hawkers to be removed from footpaths. What’s happening to our pavements? They’re being used by everyone apart from pedestrians. Surely the transport ministry would want to look into that .

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : This post is in no way a ridicule of the Indian society or our Government. No nation, society, religion or culture is perfect. But there’s always hope that things will get better, sooner or later. And this is what some of us are hoping for.

Picture Courtesy : Pinterest.