Tag Archives: lost

In the woods. (2)

Contd from.

I heard a rustle I hadn’t before. There was something alive around me. A second step and I realised there was something soft and squishy beneath me. A soft shriek emerged from my mouth. My hand flew to my face, covering my eyes and face. I took my phone out of my pocket to flash light the floor beneath. “It’s okay. All is well,” I murmured repeatedly. Turns out all wasn’t well. I’d stepped on to a pile of leaves soggy from the evening damp but the rustling I’d heard was the bats waking up. The house, or whatever it had once been, now had a bat infestation! Lightning struck again. I didn’t need the flashlight to see the bats this time. Thunder followed slower this time though. “All is well,” I repeated. I pulled the sleeve cuffs of my sweater up to my palms and covered my ears with them. It muffled the sound and the cold out. 

I squatted outside on the porch, back stuck to the brick wall. I tried recalling why exactly I’d stomped out of the room. It was my honeymoon. And I couldn’t get myself to even begin to adore him. We constantly fought. Our match was arranged by our parents. I’d known him for six months and been married eight days. We’d fought enough already that I was fed up of being in the same room as him. Just thinking about him stressed me out! My stress came rushing out in the form of tears. I bawled.

Once I’d cried enough to tire myself out, I checked my phone. It had network bars now but I no longer cared. The winds had calmed down and I’d made up my mind. Trees swayed lesser; I heard a car honk in the distance. Maybe I’d find a road that’d take me away from the resort. Vigor induced in me, I rushed up from the ground and flashlight on I walked towards the direction I thought I’d heard the honk from. Come jaguar or snake, I didn’t care now. I couldn’t fight them maybe but I needn’t sit crouched in fear either. I saw a road, a dust covered grey strip of tar, to be precise. It needed washing. I almost ran to it and found myself looking at what I was running away from. The resort loomed large and at the gates was my husband getting into an open Jeep, possibly to hunt me down. Again.

Gritting my teeth, I snorted and stepped back into the bushes, taking cover behind a tree. I wouldn’t let him see me. I couldn’t. 

Graciously Yours!

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In the woods.

gloomy_forest

 

The box. The door. The crumbling brick. They all begged me to enter. It was the only shelter I could find from the thunders outside! I’d lost my way back. Now it didn’t seem such a good idea to stomp out of the resort in anger. In my blind anger, I’d forgotten the road and the turns I’d taken, the spot where I’d decided to enter the woods. I recalled a milestone sign, but I couldn’t recollect the number written on it as I’d seen it through my blurry vision then, clouded by tears. I was never this careless. My mobile phone showed no network. This was a decision I’d have to make. I couldn’t Whatsapp a friend and ask them about whether I should enter the house or try another turn in the woods. The trees were swishing loudly, the darkness that had set in not helping my heart calm down! I was shivering, gooseflesh lining my arms. Was it the cold? Or was it fear?

My ears were on alert but I didn’t want to pick up any more noises than I already was. I didn’t know what a slithering snake or the roar of a jaguar sounded like, or the bite of a wolf felt. Lightning struck once again. The trees around me lit up. The house was just a dozen feet away. Closing my eyes, taking a deep breath, I decided to go there than lose myself further into the woods. I took each step carefully, hands crossed across my chest, lest my heart thumped out of my body, phone inside the pocket and head lowered. But one step on the porch and I knew I’d made a mistake!

Graciously Yours!

Belong.

Stranded, lost, fumbling to find the way back,

‘Tis too dark to see, too lonely to ask,

The way back to your heart, once that I called home,

The grass, the road, the river, the shore,

I cross it all in the hope that I will find you,

The eyes moist, voice cracked, all I wonder is,

As I shout out to the skies, from the depths of my soul,

Will I ever know where you belong.

Graciously Yours!

 

Life Notes #8.

First things first. Apologies for not having written for so long!

Now, let’s come to the point. There’s this place in Calcutta called burrabazaar (literal translation : Big Market). See, how we do it? No need to be creative or rack your brains to think of a good name! We also have New Market and A.C. Market! That’s for another post! So this burrabazaar is a market where you can find everything from clothes, accessories, footwear, food, household appliances, craft supplies, electricals, et al! Name it and you’ll get it. It’s like Target under not one roof. It’s spread over countless small shops and roadside stalls and single moving vendors. You see it also has its own Wiki page in case you want to know more.

And considering there’s a wedding coming up, it’s sort of customary for us to visit the market at least once, irrespective of whether we actually buy anything or not. For this visit it was my turn with Mother. The younger one sneaked out of it for her own good. Going there after four long years, I’d forgotten the fight I would have to put up just to avoid falling in those open drains, moving handcarts and freshly dug up tunnels in the middle of roads! This is what I mean when I say road by the way :

These roads are a burrabazaar speciality!

My Mother is a wonder! She sneaks into the smallest of spaces available and just serenades her way out of the human maze to get to exactly where she wants in that maze of roads lined with a more complicated maze of shops! And I am something like this :

I need to catch up with Mother!!! (Or I am going to be so lost!)

Leaving aside the fact that the shopping spree was successful for Mother at least, I also realized that there are times when your phone camera will just not give you what you want. Every time I tried standing and clicking a picture for you people to see, the crowd around seemed to just get me moving again! You see, you just don’t stand, loiter or window shop there!  You keep moving!

This is what I came up with. I know I am a better photographer than what these pictures portray!

That would have been a dug up trench if I'd stood my ground for another second!
That would have been a dug up trench if I’d stood my ground for another second!
Get me out!!!
Get me out!!!
Shoes off in saree shops!
Shoes off in saree shops!

And now I gotta go because I need to go shopping again! Dear brother, please get married soon!

Note to self : Next time, if there is a next, keep your elbows to your chest, cell phone safely tucked in your pocket, and march ahead with head held high! And stop staring at those colourful trinkets on sales and bags hanging overhead. You’ll hopefully not get lost then! (Doesn’t mean I got lost this time.)

Graciously Yours!

Love not lost.

image

You knew all along,
How much I loved you,
Yet you feigned ignorance for so long,
Hoping time would make me grow over you.

You were wrong to have turned me away,
Your love which was mine always going strong,
Your heart kept beating and throbbing my way,
Until it was too late and things went wrong.

To this day when I read your words,
The pain in your eyes comes floating across,
They’ve all grown – the trees, the flowers, the birds,
The grief you burdened alone still leaves me at a loss.

Every time I pass by your grave,
The yellow lilies, my favourite I leave,
I put on a front that’s smiling and brave,
Heavy breaths and a broken heart I heave.

In a small corner of my broken heart,
You’ll always have a place to live,
We may be worlds apart,
But you’ve reposed in me all the love I could give.

Graciously Yours!