Tag Archives: humour

Sober or drunk?

News for you! My closest cousin is getting married with just 6 more days to go! (Say congratulations y’all!)

Warning : Not for people below 18. And my parents.

Continue reading Sober or drunk?

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Life Notes #8.

First things first. Apologies for not having written for so long!

Now, let’s come to the point. There’s this place in Calcutta called burrabazaar (literal translation : Big Market). See, how we do it? No need to be creative or rack your brains to think of a good name! We also have New Market and A.C. Market! That’s for another post! So this burrabazaar is a market where you can find everything from clothes, accessories, footwear, food, household appliances, craft supplies, electricals, et al! Name it and you’ll get it. It’s like Target under not one roof. It’s spread over countless small shops and roadside stalls and single moving vendors. You see it also has its own Wiki page in case you want to know more.

And considering there’s a wedding coming up, it’s sort of customary for us to visit the market at least once, irrespective of whether we actually buy anything or not. For this visit it was my turn with Mother. The younger one sneaked out of it for her own good. Going there after four long years, I’d forgotten the fight I would have to put up just to avoid falling in those open drains, moving handcarts and freshly dug up tunnels in the middle of roads! This is what I mean when I say road by the way :

These roads are a burrabazaar speciality!

My Mother is a wonder! She sneaks into the smallest of spaces available and just serenades her way out of the human maze to get to exactly where she wants in that maze of roads lined with a more complicated maze of shops! And I am something like this :

I need to catch up with Mother!!! (Or I am going to be so lost!)

Leaving aside the fact that the shopping spree was successful for Mother at least, I also realized that there are times when your phone camera will just not give you what you want. Every time I tried standing and clicking a picture for you people to see, the crowd around seemed to just get me moving again! You see, you just don’t stand, loiter or window shop there!  You keep moving!

This is what I came up with. I know I am a better photographer than what these pictures portray!

That would have been a dug up trench if I'd stood my ground for another second!
That would have been a dug up trench if I’d stood my ground for another second!
Get me out!!!
Get me out!!!
Shoes off in saree shops!
Shoes off in saree shops!

And now I gotta go because I need to go shopping again! Dear brother, please get married soon!

Note to self : Next time, if there is a next, keep your elbows to your chest, cell phone safely tucked in your pocket, and march ahead with head held high! And stop staring at those colourful trinkets on sales and bags hanging overhead. You’ll hopefully not get lost then! (Doesn’t mean I got lost this time.)

Graciously Yours!

Life Notes #7.

Today at dawn, a small fire was not allowed to blow out of proportion into an untoward incident with the joint efforts of our society residents.
[Each one of us got through unhurt. There was no loss of life, only minimal loss of property.]
Yet I am writing about it, under my Life Notes series, so there has to be a funny tale to tell! Read on:

At 4 a.m. I stirred in my sleep because I heard a lady shouting downstairs. Then I instructed my ears to catch the words and instead I heard my parents in the next room talk about fire and smoke. What would you do? Get out of bed to enquire? What did I do?

Blunder 1: Turned on my side and slept again! And I am not proud of it. I chose sleep over saving my life! Until obviously my mother came and announced “Out of bed now! There’s an emergency!”, at which I immediately leapt out of bed, grabbed my phone, pulled my sister out of bed and went to switch off the main electricity supply to our flat.

Blunder 2: While I was doing this, my mother ushered us out of the house just when my sister reacted in time to take the keys to the house, which my mother in her panicked state initially failed to see the relevance of!

By the time my father located the flat which was the source of the fumes, our resident electrician and another man had readied a fire extinguisher for use.

Blunder 3: Interestingly, my father had to remind the electrician to switch off the particular flat’s electricity supply to avoid the fire from spreading through the lines.

Blunder 4: While we were ringing door bells and evacuating other residents from their flats, a lot of them elderly, only after 10 minutes into the whole exercise did a young guy realize that the building’s fire alarm should be sounded to make things easier!

Blunder 5: While the evacuation persisted and the fire couldn’t be brought under control, a good 20 minutes from the first time I got out of my house, it struck me that the local emergency fire services should be informed.

Blunder 6: And guess what? I pride myself for remembering contact numbers of people, but I couldn’t recall if the fire emergency services were 101 or 102! (FYI, in India, it’s 101.) And of all the contact numbers I have, I didn’t have that of the fire department!

After which I called Just Dial, the online Yellow Pages of India, who thankfully responded very quickly! And further appreciation for the young chap at Just Dial who entertained my request, for breaking their custom and not having me asked me to rate the previous service I had received from a restaurant, the contact number of which I had taken from them. Good instincts!

And then the story has the routine firemen informed-firemen came-fire doused-all clear sign-residents go back home-sleep for a while again clichéd ending!

Note to self: Please appreciate that your life is more valuable than your sleep! And memorizing the emergency numbers is more important than memorizing those of your boss. Of course, he’s important too. But he’s not going to douse the fire, is he?

Graciously (and safely) Yours!

Post-Diwali post!

So, here are some of our Diwali celebration pictures :

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And as for my missing Caesar, about which you can read here if you haven’t yet, I have no conclusive evidence of his whereabouts yet. But from what little information, I have gained from my interrogation and from undisclosed sources, it seems my father is more involved than anyone else! I’ve ruled out all other family members and even the boot of the car.

So, as of date Caesar seems to be at the dry cleaners and we’ll get confirmed status when he returns clean and dry in a week or so!

Till then, take care!

Graciously Yours!

Diwali Post!

There are more than a couple of reasons why I am writing this post :

Firstly, to wish you all a really happy Diwali! It is an age old Indian festival depicting ‘good wins over evil’, traditionally celebrated as the Festival of Lights all over the country (which unfortunately, over the years has become more of festival of sounds with all the lights from the fireworks only adorning the skies.)

Secondly, my mother is not at home and this is the prefect opportunity to take a break because once she’s back with the flowers and all, the entire house needs to be decorated for the puja in the evening! (I’ll put up the photographs for y’all tonight!)

Thirdly and most importantly, Caesar (due credit to VJ for coming up with the name) is missing! That, below there, is Caesar!

Caesar

And when I say missing, I mean, this soft toy of a monkey which was sitting at the dining table at 2 am in the morning before I went to sleep, is missing from our home when I looked for it at 11 am today! It is not there. Not in the rooms. Not in the kitchen. Not in the balcony. Not in the washrooms. Not even in the cupboards and windows!

Which leaves me perplexed! And scared. I knew I should never have watched horror movies! Specially those with walking and talking dolls! Yikes!

Can a soft toy get up and walk out to celebrate Diwali? Considering we’re not bursting crackers this year at all to reduce some of our carbon footprint, did it get attracted to the fireworks-lit skies and decided to go for a stroll outside and lost his way back home? Or did not want to come back home?

Or did my granny hide it in some unchecked nook or crevice of our home just to get back at me for having scared her by placing the monkey near her last week when she was sleeping?

Or did my mother give it for dry cleaning and is not telling me because she is enjoying my bewildered, perplexed, puzzled, shaken reactions?

The last one makes most sense, but then where’s the fun in that!

Happy Diwali to everyone! May every day of your life see good winning over evil.

Graciously Yours!

P.S.: Where do you think Caesar is?

Life Notes #4.

Bus stops at the crossroad. Its raining heavily. The roads are waterlogged.

I got down the bus, gingerly stepping into the mid-calf length muddy waters on the road, one foot firmly following the other. I barely opened my umbrella when I realized that one of my slippers was off my feet and was floating into the water. I looked down at the floating slipper and when I looked up again (cursing, obviously), I could see that the traffic from the opposite lane had been opened. I had less than 30 seconds to get my slipper back and out of harm’s way! Flopping around on one foot with the umbrella in one hand and my handbag slipping from the other shoulder, I picked up the floating slipper and almost hobbled across to the footpath! Relief would be a tiny word to be used to describe that moment!

Note to self : Next time, if someone says to you that the monsoons landed them in a compromising situation on the roads of India, do NOT laugh. ‘Cuz, life, dear girl, is a circle. A viciously sadistic circle!

Graciously Yours!

Awards Night!

Till two days ago, I was just another blogger in this WordPress world of super-awesome bloggers!

What’s changed?

Two of my fellow bloggers found me to be brilliant enough to be awarded with the “Sunshine award” and the “Versatile Blogger award”. I cannot tell you how happy, privileged, honoured and absolutely gracious I am to you, Purrfect Girl and Indian Humour!

Before you go on with my rant about how joyous I am, please do check their blogs which have been beautifully endowed with marvellous words and creative and, often, thought-provoking ideas!

These awards come along with some rules, like all other good things.

1. Answer 10 Questions which I answer.

2. Thank the person who nominated you.

3. Nominate 10 deserving blogs.

4. Place the award on the blog.

1. Favourite food: I love salads! And if that’s not food for you then dishes from Indian, Italian, Mexican and Chinese cuisines will do.

Psst :  Burmese Khowsuey? Love that too!

2. Favourite actor :  Kajol, Aamir Khan, Dhanush, Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, DiCaprio.

New find : Siddarth Malhotra!

3. Favourite TV show: Castle! And Friends. And Sarabhai vs. Sarabhai. And a little known one called Special Squad.

4.  Favourite Tear Jerker: Little Women! Jo should have given Laurie a chance, at least!

5. Favourite sport: Badminton and Cricket. Play one, watch one. Though I did play cricket when I was in school, but then … Nah…

6. Lucky Number: Don’t know why but of late I think it is 7. Harry Potter got to do anything with that? Who knows?

7. Tea or Coffee: Coffee. Just ‘cuz the other option is Tea.

8. Holiday: The Pujas in Calcutta!

9. Twitter or Facebook: Facebook, over Twitter. 140 characters is too less for me. :p

10. Favourite Christmas Movie: Home Alone! I know that’s not the normal choice, but well, when have my choices been normal?

Rule 1 — Followed!

See, I thanked them above, so…

Rule 2 — Followed!

And the nominations are :

http://epiphanyinthecacophony.wordpress.com/

http://girlonthecontrary.com/

http://justspokenthoughts.wordpress.com/ (He may not have written for a long time now, but still… Check him out, you’ll be floored!)

http://goingbeyondthepages.wordpress.com/

http://girlseule.wordpress.com/

Rule 3 — Followed!

And Rule 4 followed too!

Graciously Yours!

P.S: Keep the love coming! 😀 And I will soon add more to the nominations…

Maneka’s Magical Mammals!

Flipping through old pictures, often brings back those breathtaking moments which make you what you are. Here's one of mine :

I was 16 and scared of dogs. I had been sent to interview Maneka Sorcar, a magician herself and the daughter of one of the best magicians in India and a very respected figure in the lanes and by-lanes of Calcutta, P.C. Sorcar Jr. Their house is placed in one of those narrow alleys of Calcutta which contributes to the city’s old world charm.
Having made an appointment for 1 o’ clock in the afternoon I had reached their doorstep by 12:55 p.m. sharp. I thought it would be more impressive to make an early entry. So I rang the bell and was let in. I was asked to proceed to the first floor and the minute I put my foot on the first stair, I heard a bark. Mind you, for me it was like a sharp and loud roar! The housekeeper saw me jump (almost) and assured me that it was a friendly pet somewhere at the back of the house. More than the pet being friendly, it being somewhere at the back of the house reassured me! I made my way up the stairs and waited in the designated room for Maneka. I was in awe of their beautiful house and also the fact that I was in the house of magicians! C’mon, I was aware of and in love with Harry Potter’s world!

After a short while, Maneka came in for the interview. She was nothing like the pictures I had seen of her on the Internet! She was so much more lovely to look at and less sorceress type. Halfway through the questions, she probably had to go out to attend a call or something (some parts of the meeting have fudged up in my brains). So, I sat reading my running notes and adding bits and pieces here and there, when all of a sudden I heard a growl behind me. I turned to see a HUGE dog standing in the doorway, blocking the only exit. The first floor grilled window didn’t count. And when I say huge, I mean it was as tall as a sitting me. I don’t know where I got the strength, but I just sat still. Not paralytic or shocked-still, more like maybe-it-won’t-bother-me-if-I-stay-still. And you know what it did? It came towards me and started LICKING my hands. I should have freaked out, screamed, run away or maybe fainted, but you know what I did? I smiled. Of course I was still wary of the dog, but there was something mesmerizing about the moment! Okay, reads cliched but I can’t give you anything better. My hands and feet both had been licked by now. And behind the huge one, I noticed there was a smaller dog wagging its tail and looking up at me with such enchantingly innocent eyes, as if trying to settle my adrenalin-pumped blood. While I kept gazing at the little one, fascinated, the other one started inching itself closer to my face. Now, I was uncomfortable! And that’s when Maneka, oblivious of my fear but acutely aware of my discomfort walked in the room and gently took the dogs away from me. The rest of the interview sailed through with the dogs making themselves comfortable on the floor, near her feet, sometimes near mine. And I didn’t mind at all.

Before leaving, I couldn’t resist requesting Maneka to click a picture of mine with her adorable and friendly pets! This is one of the best clicks :

With Polo and Puchi.
With Polo and Puchi.

And, I swear, that day onwards, I haven’t been afraid of dogs. Every time I see a dog licking, I think of Polo and wagging tails remind me of Puchi. That was an exceptionally incredible and extremely rare afternoon and nothing less. Magic does exist. Period.

Graciously Yours!

What’s been your magical moment?

Life Notes #3.

Hi! I am back to share a little insight with you guys.

Do NOT watch cricket matches when you have your exams going on. Not even Indian Premier League Finals. Not even for this guy :

 George Bailey - Kings XI Punjab Captain.

George Bailey – Kings XI Punjab Captain.

By the way, I am only saying this because they lost.

I can’t handle sportsman spirit and cheer for the game well-played by the opposition, not when I am watching their Finals during my Finals!

Note to Self : Stop choosing favourites in IPL. They almost always lose.

Graciously Yours!

P.S.: Papers have been decent so far 🙂 4 down, 4 more to go!

P.P.S.: I’ll read all your new and amazing blog posts once I am done with my exams!

Life Notes #2.

For the people weak at heart, please do not read further. You might not be able to bear the madness about to come your way.​

Padfoot is one of my friends who is just damaged beyond cure (as you will now see.) and really needs to stop flirting (it’s harmless flirting, Mom, promise!) with me!

Oh and my excuse for the craziness is continuous four hours of studying!
Me : ​Greetings!
Padfoot : ​Welcome to my planet. What brings you here O’​ fair maiden?
Me : ​There’s some sort of insanely crazy attraction here! I still haven’t been able to figure out where I am, Sir! Could thou help thee?
Padfoot : ​I am sorry,​ fair maiden. I can’​t help myself. All doctors have already given up. They say I am beyond hope and the only treatment is the love of a fair maiden.
​Me : Oh Lord! You do look pale and tired in hindsight, Sire. Is there anything I can do for th​ou? Can I be of help?
Padfoot : ​Indeed… The touch of thy rosemary lips is the only way to heal this weary soul… Free me from these shackles that bind my soul to this world and take me with thyself to the horizon beyond the sea.
Me (thinking I should have guessed where it would lead!) : But I am already taken, Sire! I have my heart belonging to the Knight of my life! I cannot do this for thou. Only true love can heal thou, Sire and that is not mine to give or yours to ask for. Your love will come, Sire. I can feel it in the air around me. Hurry not!
(And this is exactly what you deserve for being cheeky​, I wanted to say!​)

​Padfoot : ​Round one goes to the fair maiden who looks beautiful in red!

Aha! The taste of victory! Mischief Managed 😉

Life Note to self : It is good to go crazy!

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Graciously Yours!

P.S.: I swear the rest of my blog is not this crazy!