Tag Archives: humour

In Other News.

We’ve known for a while that journalism hasn’t really been improving it’s standards but today I will not be blaming them.

In other news, that’s what the world was up to. In other words, that’s what was trending!

Pokemon Go – Because Candy Crush outlived its fifteen seconds of fame!

Every second person I know, whether gaming freaks or not, whether or not they know that there are 151 Pokemons, whether they can say the names of even ten or not, they will be playing the latest app rage that is Pokemon Go!

USA has more Pokemon Go downloads than Tinder. Pokemon Go has more Google search than porn (which is good, actually! But, is it?) Pokemon Go walks are being organised. And memes are already in place!

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Pubic Hair Dress – sometimes things get a little too hairy to be waxed.

Yes, because clothes are passe! Who wants fabric to cover their body when they can get hair? And that too pubic hair! Dream come true *sarcasm*

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I wonder how the lady in the picture agreed to wear that remarkable piece of imagination.

And by the way, when I first read this piece of news I gagged on nothing but my own saliva! And eating? Eating food was a long way off while trying to recover from the shock! Just saying. You might want to give yourself time.

Oh and what’s on the top of your head? Oh, just some hair! Too soon? 😉

Ramdev Baba – India’s brand ambassdor for Yoga, NOT!

You taught us Yoga? Good. You taught us different ways to breathe? Good. You got into our homes at 5 in the morning to give life advices? Good. You entered politics? Whatever. You tried to ban Maggi? #LifeIsACircle!  You started selling hair oil to flour to noodles? Don’t give a dime of thought to you. But then you went ahead and did this :

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Need I even say any thing?

Huma Mobin – the lady who rocked her ‘honeymoon’. Alone!

Meet Huma, a lady who had to go on a vacation without her husband and she came back with pictures that broke the internet! She brought Pakistan into the news and for once the world was smiling! Thank you, Ma’am! 🙂

Also, she went to Greece. Thank you for helping Greek tourism. They can do with whatever they get.

Signing off,

Graciously Yours!

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D.I.Y. – Washing

Are you a ‘laundry virgin’ too?
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Well, well, well! Let’s make things easier for you.

Following are the things you must NOT DO while washing:

– Do not wash your blacks with your whites! No matter how trusted that shopkeeper was or how branded the product was – blacks and whites don’t mix well.

– Do not turn on the shower if you’re sitting fully clothed right beneath it! Provided you choose to hand wash your clothes while you are fully clothed. But that’s your choice! Who am I to judge? 😉

– Do not expect yourself to work out after hand washing your dirty laundry! Your upper body got toned for the day.

– Do not put on peppy dance tracks while hanging out clothes onto the washing line. There’s bound to be water spilt and high tendencies to slip while grooving!

– Lastly, do try not to endanger your washing machine’s life. That way you can avoid hand washing your clothes!

And if by any chance, there is a rat who cuts through wires and damages the machine (#TrueStory), make sure this isn’t the technician coming to service it!

Crazy Guy!

#TrueStory again!

Graciously Yours!

P.S.: Feel free to share how you lost your ‘laundry virginity’! 😉

Meanwhile, here’s how Rachel lost hers :

Thought Flash #4

You know you’re finally understanding physics if you recall fluid dynamics while seeing the shampoo coil on your hand. If you use the hand shower to deliberately feel the recoil effect! If you consider wind speed when dropping something from ten floors high! Something that wouldn’t break someone’s head, obviously! I’m not violent, just curious. 😉

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Graciously Yours!

P.S. : Thank you, Destin for doing what you do!

Picture Courtesy : Smarter Every Day.

The Last Laugh.

The scratching of pens wouldn’t stop. The overhead fan was whirring at full speed. Yet, she could sense the beads of sweat forming over her brow. A couple more minutes and she would wipe it off again. The students had just another 30 minutes and then she could go and rest in the staff room.

This was the third consecutive day her cook hadn’t turned up. Her ailing mother in law was demanding even when on bed. Then there was her husband who couldn’t see her burdens even if she threw them in his face. Well, he was dead anyways. He met with an accident while he was on a trip with his mistress. The world thought he died alone and mourned him for all that he wasn’t. She didn’t care to correct their assumptions to save her daughter from the society’s cruel impending jibes.

She could see two students passing papers at the back of the room. She didn’t care! They were old enough to know what was right and what wasn’t. If they thought these marks could secure their future, she wanted to roll on the floor laughing at their silliness. The real world would make them repent for their underhand methods. Or at least life would. She let them enjoy the short lived moments of adrenalin rushed success. And noted their roll numbers for further reference.

If they were good, she was better.

Graciously Yours!

Quote Challenge – Day 2.

The blogger over at Just A Small Town Girl nominated me for a quote challenge recently. Go check her blog out, y’all!

Challenge’s rules:

  1. Post on three consecutive days.
  2. You can pick one or three quotes per day.
  3. Challenge three different bloggers per day.

Have you heard of the Daily Odd Compliments? I am not sure if they quite fall in the category of quotes, but these are some of the best ones I came across recently :

 

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Did they bring a smile on your face? Did they remind you of someone? Go call them and tell them about how awesome I am! Leave me a note and I’ll thank you in the comments! 😉

Graciously Yours!

Picture Credits to DOC website!

Of bad singers and good ad campaigns.

The laws of Calcutta seem beyond my grasp at times. It’s almost midnight and there’s a live musical performance going on right behind my place for no reason whatsoever! At least, there’s no festival I am aware of. Christmas doesn’t call for such celebration and Durga Puja is a good ten months away!

Singers have been shouting into the microphones, speakers have been blaring, peace is being held hostage for the past five hours. At least. Why am I so irritated? Because good songs and better singers are welcome at such shows. But when the singers sound like they have bullfrogs bellowing inside of them and the noise they’re creating is on the higher side of the allowed decibel level, sleep is tossed out of the window (panes of which are vibrating!) and the post which is published is probably the tenth draft of the fourth idea which struck me while I was trying to clamp my ears with cotton, mufflers and pillows.

Distracting myself to write this post and I end up writing about what I am supposed to distract myself from! Silly me.

So you think diamonds are a girl’s best friend? And that if your fiance, husband or even boyfriend doesn’t gift you diamonds, his love for you isn’t forever? (Because diamonds last forever – forgive the analogy. All that noise is slowing me down.)

Well, congratulations! You have been duped by a very long continuing and massively successful advertising campaign started around the mid 1900’s to ensure the sudden bounty of diamonds being mined do not lose out on their previously high prices! The advertising campaign emphasized on the non-existent necessity of diamonds to be an intricate part of the holy matrimony! And thus began the race to buy diamonds, the end line of which is far from visible even today.

This reminds me of another advertising campaign which saved an entire brand from getting ruined. The Nestle India Maggi campaign! An offshoot video that I found is worth the time and smile. Specially for those who love both Maggi and Bollywood.

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : In case reading this post will result in future savings in your bank account, don’t forget to send me a thank you note! 😉 You’d make my day.

The horror of it.

He stared into nothingness,

Loving the light more than the dark,

Heaving breaths and sweltering palms,

He rubbed his back against the bark.

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He saw headlights approaching,

Out came he – dressed as a towering bear,

All he wanted was money,

The realtors wanted the fear.

Graciously Yours!

 

Flowers over birds.

Recently, I went to an undisclosed location (the mystery is alluring) where we can safely say that birds and flowers can be found in abundance among other things (and it was no bird park. Duh.).

From the blog : 1000 words or less. This blogger clicks fascinating pictures!

From the instagram of the blogger over at The Uncertainty Principle.
From the instagram of the blogger over at The Uncertainty Principle.

I have never fully appreciated the patience exuded by photographers who click bird pictures. Until I tried to capture their shots, of course! Birds are such elusive creatures! It seems as if they know that the shutter is going to close in on them and they just have to ruin the frame! So while my friend went on trying to capture birds, I stuck to the flowers. Well, for one they’re colourful and many. And secondly, THEY DON’T RUIN THE SHOT BY FLYING AWAY!!

Tucked safely within.
Tucked safely within.

Windmill much?
Windmill much?

Who said three is a crowd?
Who said three is a crowd?

Fallen but not lost.
Fallen but not lost.

So what if I can't capture birds? Bird's nest, it is.
So what if I can’t capture birds? Bird’s nest, it is.

Which reminds me that I have a bird shot from an earlier trip! Well, technically not so much because these birds don’t really fly away. But. Yeah. Whatever.

Hah! It's not impossible. Though improbable.
Hah! It’s not impossible. Though improbable.

Graciously Yours!

Pictures Courtesy : 

1000 words or less. (Brilliant photographer, I tell you.)

Prateek (@pk9692) from The Uncertainty Principle.

Liebster Award – awesome questions!

Without offending anyone who has in the recent past nominated me for awards which have not been acknowledged yet, I only accepted this award because the questions that the lady running coffeegrounded’s blog asked are crazy awesome!

Check them out :

  • If you could, would you travel into space?

I most certainly would! Though I am not sure how much help I would be to the ISS people or the ISRO, NASA, ESA scientists!

  • How old were you when you learned to tie your shoes?

Mother says I was three. I believe her.

  • Snow skiing, or horseback riding?

I recently saw some videos which showed what you should do when stuck in an avalanche while snow skiing. The death statistics are alarmingly high. I’d choose horseback riding.

  • Favorite book of all time?

Little Women. Looking for Alaska. Many Lives, Many Masters. And the Harry Potter series. Was I supposed to choose just one book?

  • Name your favorite hobby?

Writing! Hands down winner.

  • If money wasn’t a factor, what would you purchase immediately?

A horse. Why? I just chose to go horse back riding! Duh.

  • Who’s the better cook, you or your significant other?

Well, as of now, I can only hope that my significant other turns out to be a better cook than me!

  • Which do you prefer:  t.v. news broadcast, Internet news, hardcopy newspaper?

The newspaper in hand. Anytime.

  • Would you abolish Daylight Savings time (null to folks in Arizona and Hawaii)?

Like Hawaii and Arizona, India also doesn’t use Daylight Savings time. And you can’t abolish something which doesn’t exist, so no, I wouldn’t.

  • Do you hoard pennies, or leave them in the tray on the counter?

I hoard them until I have more than I can handle! Then, I want to just lose them somewhere!

  • Name your favorite board game.

Snakes and Ladder! Unpredictable, light and such climatic finishes! And you don’t need skills to play that one either. Just roll the die and enjoy the hilarious situations you land up in.

I nominate anyone who finds my questions amusing enough to be answered.

Here they are :

  1. If you could choose one superpower, what would it be and why?
  2. Which is better – Harry Potter the book or Harry Potter the film? If you haven’t experienced either, I am so disappointed!
  3. Which was the last picture you took with your phone?
  4. What’s the colour of your toothbrush?
  5. If you could be a flower, which one would you be?
  6. Polar bear or Penguin?
  7. You just won a free ticket to anywhere on Earth. Where would you go?
  8. Koala bear or Panda?
  9. If you could marry a fictional character, who would it be and why?
  10. What question do you hate to answer?
  11. What’s the answer to answer 10?

Graciously Yours!

My crazy is still sane.

Yesterday, the papers carried this shocker :

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On days like these, I realize my crazy is still sane.

And then I recalled there are more of such shockers on the internet. These are some of my favourite ones.

Next time you go for a paint ball session, wear this. You can carry all your artillery in there! And everyone’s going to be so astonished that in all likelihood they’ll forget to attack you.

Warning : You may get your fifteen seconds of fame on the internet, in a not good way.


I hate my legs. They’re too thin. Or too fat. Or too straight. Or too crooked. I’ll let the entire world know how much I hate my legs. Whoever could have come up with these?


I admired her character in Las Vegas. Remember Sam and her sharks? I wonder if she had two stylists. One must have insisted on a gown, the other on pants. And another must have combined both options. Oh that makes it three stylists! Damn you, maths!


Most girls seem to have stuff spilling out of their bags. Not every girl has Hermione’s luck (Click here for reference). Chanel (I did not look up the brand logo on Google. Or may be I did. Shh!) here tried to do some magic! Voila. That’s your drunk godmother’s work, Cinderella.


Christmas Trees in orange. For wear. Free. (Because no one else must have bought it.)


The fashion designer hates this model! Karma will get back at you some day, designer!


Disclaimer : None of these brilliant ideas are mine. Note the sarcasm.

Graciously Yours!

Picture Courtesy : Pinterest.

P.S. : Which fashion trend do you find most blah?