Tag Archives: desire

Forever and always.

He pulled me closer. My arms tingled with his touch. A current shot through me as he held me in his arms. I still fit snugly in his shape. I laid my head on his chest. Caressing my back, he dug his face in my hair. He loved my white mane much more than I did. His longing for my touch made me melt against him. I wanted time to stand still.

The shuffling of feet and din of people brought me back to my surroundings. Embarrassed, I tried to let go off him. But this meant so much more to him than it meant to me. He hesitated. Slowly, sadly, he let go off me. Through my glistening eyes, I could see him trying to pull his emotions together.

I intertwined my wrinkled fingers with his and we walked away to somewhere quieter. But there wasn’t any quiet to be found. Everywhere prying eyes followed us. With each step, our arms brushed. The thirst was maddening and our control weakening. Not a word was said and the bell rung! It was time for me to leave.

He walked me to the end of the room. Beyond that I was on my own. As I tiptoed to land him a peck, he brushed his stubble against my face and whispered in my ears, “I’ll always love you.”

I pulled him away. Running my fingers through his hair, I kissed him on the mouth. I tasted him while I still could. And then I turned my back on him and left.

As the Alzheimer’s struck me walked away from him, I prayed that the next time he came, I still remembered him. And I know he prayed for the same.

o-old-couple-holding-hands-facebook

Graciously Yours!

Advertisements

VIBGYOR

Picture

The violet orchids you held out for me,

Looked striking against the indigo dress I wore,

As your smiling blue eyes mesmerized me, making my heart race,

The ladies around stared, envious and green.

We drove back to your place, yellow lights shining against the night city sky,

I stirred in your arms, awakening to the orange hues of dawn,

Red trickling down from me.

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : This is an ode to nature for the myriad colours it has given to us to shade our lives with! If ever in doubt, check out the nail paint section of any cosmetics brand.

I belong to you.

___

The touch of your skin,

The blaze in my heart,

The bumps on my skin,

Victory in your heart.

The glow in your eyes,

The warmth on my face,

Welled tears to my eyes,

That smile on your face.

I danced into your arms,

Cradled for life,

Throwing around you my arms,

For the last time, before I became his wife.

 

Graciously Yours!

The Night of the Wedding.

The Pensive Bride

“That is a beautiful wedding dress you’re wearing! Do you need any help?” Sweta came in, asking cheerfully.

“No, you’ve done so much already. Thank you so much! Your entire hotel staff has been very helpful,” gushed the bride, Payal.

“That’s the job, you know,” pat came the reply, knowing fully well that she always gave in more than required for wedding events.

“Oh and thank you for complimenting the saree. I designed it,” Payal said modestly. Softly, she added, looking into the mirror, “Probably one of my last.”

“Why?” Sweta asked, shocked! “It really is none of my business. I am sorry!” she added hastily.

“No, it’s nothing that personal. His parents aren’t really comfortable with my degree in fashion designing, being orthodox and all. So I am not pursuing professionally anymore. But it’s okay. I think I have made peace with it.”

“Payal, I don’t have any right to say this to you. And certainly not on your wedding day, but had I not spoken up during my wedding, I wouldn’t actually be here managing your wedding. I was to get married last year but my would be in-laws weren’t comfortable with a working daughter-in-law. I had nearly agreed to their demand too, but as the wedding came closer I was more and more unsure of the whole compromise. I spoke to my fiance, but unfortunately he didn’t have enough spine to stand up for me. So I took my own stand and here I am. And I can tell you I am not repenting the decision! In fact, my life’s happier today.”

“What do you mean, Sweta? What are you suggesting?!” the bride asked, aghast.

“Simply that you talk to your guy once and if he really loves you and deserves you, he’ll be there to stand by you. Otherwise, you seem to have already made peace with it. Almost. Have you spoken to him about it?”

“Actually, not that seriously, though I have thought about it a lot,” she confessed.

“I think you should talk to him. But only if you want to.”

She immediately picked up the phone and texted her fiance to come over to the bridal room.

“I have called him over. He’s coming in 2 minutes! Can you please stay?” Payal requested.

“Are you sure you want me to?” Sweta asked, going and holding the bride’s hand, and sitting beside her.

The bride simply nodded in return, breathing deeply.

“Everything alright, Payal? Oh hi, Sweta! Your decorations are turning out to be fantastic! I love what your team is doing.” Gaurav smiled, looking at both the ladies.

“I need to talk to you, Gaurav. And Sweta will stay.”

“Okay. Should I be afraid? What is it, Ma’am that seems to be making you so nervous?” Gaurav  asked, perplexed.

“Gaurav, I love you. A lot. And you love me too. I know that. But there is something I want from you before our wedding. I know I am being really silly picking this up now, but it’s important. I have been thinking about it for the past few days.”

“You’re scaring me, baby.”

“Let me complete,” she said cutting him off. “I am passionate about designing. I know I haven’t been successful enough to shut people up yet, but you know if I take those last few steps I can make it through. Your parents do not want me to work, but frankly I cannot see myself sitting at home waiting for you to come back from work everyday. I do not want to disrespect your parents at all or make them feel I am turning their son against them, but this is what defines me, Gaurav. My art. That is why you fell in love with me! Remember? All I am saying is I don’t think I am ready to give up on my career yet. You know, Sweta, wouldn’t have been fulfilling my dream wedding here if she had gone ahead with her own wedding! I admire her. She’s an amazing person. And she’s so happy because she dared to keep up with her passion. I don’t want to give up on my passion, Gaurav. I want to be happy with you and I am afraid if I give up my work I might end up blaming myself for not having had the courage to talk to you about it. That’s it.”

“That’s it? Payal, I never supported my parents’ decision regarding you giving up your work. And I would have to spoken to them if you had told me earlier!  You seemed so okay with it that discussing this never crossed my mind. I would never want you to give up what you love. Come here,” he said, walking up to her to give her a quick hug.

“Thank you so much, Gaurav. Thank you!” she said, feeling so relieved in his arms!

“Umm, can we not ruin the bride’s make-up please?” Sweta said gently, easing her way out of the room.

“Sweta, wait!” Payal said, walking over to her quickly to give her a tight hug. “I cannot thank you enough for what you just did. Now, I can get married carefree! I owe this to you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Payal. Just promise me you’re going to design my wedding saree!”

“I wouldn’t let you get it designed by anyone else!” Payal mocked shockingly, while the other two laughed heartily.

And today, Sweta, felt like she’d arranged more than just a wedding. She’d supported another woman the same way her mother had supported her. She knew her mother would be the happiest today, had she been around. And, truly, the Heavens did smile down at her.
 
Graciously Yours!

P.S. : I am back! And yes, that’s sketched by me.

The One Night (That) Stands! – Part 3.

Continued …

Gingerly placing her foot on the steps, she landed quietly on the floor. She faced to give him a quick smile but he was looking out into the blackness. “Fine,” is all she thought. She sat opposite to him on the other end of the berth and put her cell on charge. Waiting for it to boot, she started looking in his direction discreetly, choosing to stare at the space beyond him. She folded her legs and brought her knees close to her chest. She made herself comfortable, tilting her head and resting it near the window sill.

​He was reading, sometimes staring at the pitch black interspersed with white blobs. He wanted to speak with her, listen to her voice again, but was wondering how to begin. She was looking beyond him. Her hair tied loosely in plaits, falling on her right shoulder, her glasses on; lost in thoughts she looked adorable, sitting right in front of him. A while later, she started texting constantly. In between, she pulled the window up halfway. The cool breeze blew through those curls and sleep started fluttering in her eyes. He could make out she was tired.

She was tired of talking to her friends and coordinating between them both. In between while waiting for the network to catch up, she kept her phone aside and closed her eyes.

While sleep bewitched her, it eluded him. He realized after a while that she’d fallen asleep with her legs still pulled to her chest, hands crossing her knees and head still tilted. Closing his book, he chose to simply sit and gaze at the face that had captured his attention. Was he dying to get to know her or what?!

Afraid she might catch a cold; he picked her blanket from the upper berth and put it over her. Satisfied, she would be fine, he decided to give sleep a shot.

She yawned and opened her eyes. She was blankly staring at the man sleeping before her. It took her a while to realize what must have happened last night. She straightened her head while her neck muscles cried with searing pain. Blinking sleep out of her eyes, she picked up her cell. It showed 5:56 am. She’d slept through the night on his berth while he must have been awake or terribly uncomfortable while sleeping, at least. She then noticed her blanket draped on her. Pleasantly shocked, a small smile on her face, she admired what she saw. The rising sun never looked so beautiful.

At 6:15 am, her alarm rang out, waking him out of his slumber. While he was still stirring out of his sleep, she sheepishly climbed up her berth again. Her station had almost arrived by the time she assembled everything and made herself presentable again. When she came down again, she noticed, he was ready to move out too.

The train chugged into the platform. They stood side by side, each hoping for the other to begin. Passengers were bustling around them. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He was looking out at the platform. “I should at least thank him out of gratitude,” she thought. Unable to take it anymore, she closed her eyes, took a really deep breath, exhaled, and before her mind changed itself, she turned to speak to him. But he was rummaging for something, in his backpack, book in hand! As the train came to a halt, two men came up from behind to greet him. Friends, brothers, whatever. She wasn’t interested. She was disappointed. She looked away.

As they led him away, she picked up her suitcase and bag, not wanting to waste anymore time. There was a book lying on the berth. Hastily, she picked it up!

She thought she caught a fleeting glimpse of a smile in her direction, as she saw him out on the platform.

He thought he caught a fleeting glimpse of the book in her hand before he turned away.

On instinct, she opened the book. Scribbled across the first page, was a name and number. Indeed, he did make the first move! And she couldn’t wait to make the next!

THE BEGINNING.

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : I cannot wait for criticism (hopefully, constructive!), love, humour and kindness to be showered on the piece. Please tell me if you like it. It’ll encourage me to pen some more of these 🙂

The One Night (That) Stands! – Part 2.

Continued …

“Yes, Ankita. I was having my dinner. I’ll call you back?” she said, staring at the now empty dinner tray lying on the compartment floor.

Puzzled, he sat thinking whether he had deduced her too early!

“Vivaan, hi!”

“All okay between you and Ankita? You again had a fight?”

“Oh! You’re still working? Okay I’ll call later.”

“Yes, I understand because I’m your friend.”

“She’s your girlfriend! You need to make sure she understands, not me!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to her. But you owe me one for this, don’t forget!”

“Yeah right!” she laughed! “Ok bye!”

Heaving a deep sigh, she closed her eyes and laid her head back. She seemed to have dozed off, but she was basically buying time. He looked up at her directly, eyeing the thin lines on her forehead. She was thinking and it showed. She was pleasing to the eyes. He had been observing her. She was travelling alone. In the beginning, she was on alert, especially when she would notice a man or two pass by. The abrupt straightening of her back, eyes watchful, but staring ahead. Then she seemed to mellow down a little but did not drop her guard entirely. So many times, he wanted to go ahead and introduce himself, but he didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot, lest he scared her off. He knew she had seen him, but felt she hadn’t really noticed him.

As if on cue, she opened her eyes, her phone started vibrating and the mom of the kids switched off the light, signalling time to go to bed. As the light from the other compartment fell on her face, she looked even better.

She opened her eyes and they fell on him. The ruffled hair, those black eyes boring into her, as if, reading her thoughts and then hurriedly turning away… She found her fingers trembling to touch that curve set near his lips, when she pulled herself out of the reverie. She admonished herself for the thoughts she was having and stopped herself from talking to him. She didn’t want to look desperate. She waited for him to make the first move.

She answered her phone.

“I was just about to call you,” she said, getting up and swinging the bag on her upper berth. Beautiful, strong, independent, confident, serene…. Such were the words that seemed to cross his mind.

Keeping her call on hold, she placed her cell on the upper berth and climbed up with agility (and grace, he thought). Aware that a certain pair of eyes would follow her, she made sure she didn’t misstep. First the face, then neck, waist and legs vanished, while just the voice remained. That too in hushed tones. He got back to his book. It was a going to be a long night, he felt. Good thing there was a lot of the book left.

He would catch snippets of the conversation. She was trying to calm down some really agonized soul. “Was there no peace in the world?” they thought.

There would be patches of silence in between, where he would read his book and she would thank the inaccessible cell phone networks. In one such phase, he had dozed off, one arm under his head, the other holding the book over his torso, when he awoke to a desperate voice trying to put across the message, “Listen, my phone is really low on charge, it might switch” and the voice trailed off…..

He yawned and switched off his reading light, when his eyes fell on the charging point. Her battery had died. He flicked the light on. She peered down to see him going towards the washrooms. She heard him splash water on the face. “Maybe he has a night stop and doesn’t want to sleep,” she wondered. He came and sat cross legged on his seat taking up the book again. “For someone who had been reading all the while, he hasn’t made substantial progress,” she thought smiling at his reflection in the mirror opposite her, unaware of the slow, deep breaths she was taking.

She saw him look up from his book, in a puzzled manner, after a few moments. Satisfied, she wouldn’t be encroaching; she took her charger out of her sack.

To be continued…

Graciously Yours!

To Dream Of Love…

The teenage heart flutters at the very mention of love! The worldly experiences make love less dreamy to the more experienced souls… But sometimes when you are on the verge of falling in the bliss of love, don’t let it go… Never let it go… Grab the chance before it’s too late!

 

I got into my car. After a long day of work, all I wanted to do was sleep! I asked the driver to take me home.

I checked my cell for any messages or calls. Three calls from Mother! I called her and told her I’ll be home in another 30 minutes. No messages from Nikhil. Wishful thinking.

I laid my head on the seat, stashed away the phone in my bag.

He held my hand in his. I looked to my right. Nikhil was sitting, reading something on his cell. I squeezed his hand lightly. Tearing his eyes from his cell, he looked at me and smiled. His eyes locked with mine.

Just the sight of him made my heart skip a beat! He didn’t even know that my heart does that for him.

He set his cell aside.  I snuggled closer to him, resting my head on his shoulders. Being near him, somehow felt so reassuring. I just wanted to stay like that forever. The silence didn’t hurt. The ache in my back did!

“Long day?” he asked.

“Hmmm. Very long. Very tiring!”

“Tell me about it.”

“You don’t wanna know.”

“Of course I do.”

“Then how come you never call. Or ask. Or spend some time alone. You know I’d like it.”

“You never said so.”

“Well, I just did! I like you, and I treat you special. I want to feel the same.”

There was no reply.

I turned to look at him. Umm, there was no him!

I looked at my palm cupping the air, waiting for someone to slide a hand in.

Crap! I’d drifted off to sleep!

People say dreams come true! I wanted to make sure this one did.

I retrieved my cell from my handbag.

I dialed Nikhil.

“Hey!” said the voice at the other end.

“Hi!”

“Long day?” he asked.

My heart skipped a beat!

Image