Tag Archives: depression

Scarred.

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I scared you. The knowledge I had of you, scared you. I became the personal diary you never wrote. You could see the ghosts of your past reflected in my eyes, each time you looked into them. I became a reminder of what you were trying to forget. My comfort with you, scared you. You dreamt of coming out of your shell, greeting the world like you used to but the fear of being trampled upon pushed you inside again. You had lost the real you within yourself. You did not want to be reminded of it. Not by me. You thought it was easier to push me away. At least, you could still stay safe in your shell then. You wouldn’t disappoint anyone again. You wouldn’t worry about hurting anyone again. It would be just you and your memories. You wouldn’t have to owe anyone anything again. That was easier, wrong but easier. You chose to hide behind your scars. You chose to leave me behind. I was you. You were me. You chose to leave yourself behind.

Graciously Yours!

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Pulled Apart.

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I’ve come a long way,

From that fateful day,

Where all I could think of was

Getting you to stay,

While all you did was push me away.

Now and then, things would sway,

Giving me hopes that you would stay,

But alas that wouldn’t happen,

Not how I wanted, anyway.

“For the baby’s sake,” I would say,

The little brown eyes would see your way,

But you would turn away,

Tears welling up in your eyes,

The battles you faced were bigger anyway.

There were days, when you were happy and gay,

And others when you would look out at the bay,

I would sit beside you all day,

Waiting for you to let me in on your thoughts.

Worse became the passing day,

Your smile was a needle in a stack of hay,

All day home we made you stay,

Afraid you would fall prey,

To the darkness we pulled you from.

But you fell into it, day after day,

Too late for us to mend the way,

“You deserve to be happy,” I’d say,

And that “together we would slay”

But you got addicted to the pain.

When I found you that day,

On the floor as you lay,

To you I wanted to say,

That to be weak once a while was okay,

But it was much more than you could take.

With your life you chose to pay,

To rid yourself of the darkness of the day,

In our hearts you still stay,

But not the way I wanted anyway,

The guilt of failing you still noosed tight.

Graciously Yours!

Picture Courtesy : Pinterest

 

Mistake.

He had no inkling of what he’d done. He’d prised her apart, promising to always guard her, and had at the end, left her open, wounds fresh and bleeding.
She couldn’t see how heavy a burden she was for him, how hard he’d been dragging her before he succumbed to his own magnanimous promises.
She was his best mistake, he, her worst.

Graciously Yours!

Picture Courtesy : Pinterest.

The Angel in You.

 

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Amy had seen that face before. She would recognise it anywhere. The face that had over the years faded away but resurfaced strongly when the appearance became physical. The face had changed Amy’s life. The face that had given Amy a second chance.

The lady wasn’t in her patrolling uniform. Her hair was open and flowing. She had a glittering dress on. Her smile was stunning as she looked at her beau. The eyes were still the same though. Compassionate and empathic.

As Amy sat there in the underground railway, looking at the lady, that night came flashing before her.

The stormy night, the strong currents, the alluring bridge, a broken heart, deserted roads, an emptying wallet, She had been overcome by a strong and sudden bout of depression. Nothing had seemed to be working in her favor. Her parents didn’t say it, but she could see their disappointed eyes. It was worse when they put on unmatched smiles to make her feel better. Her mind gave her so many easier ways out, as she stood under the canopy of the cafe, waiting for the torrential rain to take a break. With not much to do, she felt deserted and lonely like never before. She didn’t want to step out into the rain. But her mind made her limbs move onto the roads from the kerb. She didn’t want to get wet. But she found herself soaked to the bones within seconds. She didn’t want to cross over to the bridge. But she found herself standing at its egde. Precariously. She was afraid — of herself. She wanted someone to stop her. She also knew there was no one around, no ray of hope, no silver lining. Was this the only way? Maybe, this was what was meant to happen. She could feel water rolling down her cheeks. She wasn’t sure if it was tears or drops of the rain water. She looked into the water below. They seemed to be hungry to lap her up, thrashing themselves on the banks impatiently.

Someone jolted her out of her trance, dragging her away by the arms. She seemed like an angel to Amy! The lady only said, “Go home. However bad things might be, you do not deserve this.” Embarrassed and shocked at the recent turn of events, Amy practically remembered fleeing the scene, with that face etched in her memory forever.

 

Without further waste of time, Amy walked up to the lady and said to her, “You saved my life once. And I will be eternally grateful to you.” Puzzled, but understanding that she must have helped her in some way, the lady welcomed the hug Amy gave her.

 

Today, Amy is returning home from work to a loving husband. Her parents are proud of her. She is proud of herself.

 

Graciously Yours!