Tag Archives: death

Still looking…

Silently he stood, wrinkled eyes wide, mouth pursed,
Putting together the world piece by piece.

The trees had grown up only to be sheared,
The jungles turned into concrete.

The view from his window of nesting birds,
Had been replaced by hoardings of beautiful girls.

The balcony of the next house never opened,
The children too busy becoming ‘smart’.

A school bus stopped by their building,
The mother busy typing, blind to the child’s smiles!

The ice cream vendors had died out over the summers,
The playground became the lover’s park.

He would miss the view from his balcony,
However changed it may have become.

The truth of life still scared him,
Now that the doctors had given up too.

Who knew what would entail his death,
Would he be happier there, or just not unhappy?

Graciously Yours!

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Your eyes.

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Your eyes. Your eyes always saw the good in me. Your eyes reminded me of how much I should love myself. Your eyes were not scared to see my darkness. Your eyes took me in from bottom to top, within to without. Your eyes wanted to know me to the core, not just the crust.

Your eyes smiled each time I did. Your eyes scanned the crowd to catch just a glimpse of me. Your eyes didn’t waste a moment, not admiring me. Your eyes made me blush.

The fire destroyed it all! Your eyes were the last thing I saw before losing consciousness. Your eyes were also the first thing I saw after gaining consciousness.

That day it was to be either both of us or none. But you went away leaving me alone in this big, wide world. Or so I thought. Your eyes are now mine. And they still make me blush.

Graciously Yours!

Nepal Quake Aftershocks.

25th April, 2015 : The day man-made aftershocks won over natural aftershocks.

Two back to back tremors in Calcutta around noon today brought us all out of our buildings onto the roads. For a while, we were all dazed and then after necessary precautions went back to work.

I spent the next hour calling and texting people to ensure they were safe.

Then I came home and checked the news and read all I could about possible aftermaths of the quake.

After a long day, when I finally surfed through social media, I realized I had missed out on the most important task to be done after such an incident!

I forgot to update my Facebook status about how, why, where, when I felt and survived the quake! I forgot to share my survival strategies. I forgot to tell people via my Instagram account how the Calcutta skies looked pre and post storm today.

I realized I wasn’t cool enough like this guy who updated his status as “Feeling tremors. Earthquake?”. He was asked by a friend as to why he was updating his Facebook status instead of running down towards safety. His reply? “I am too lazy to run down 10 floors.” He should thank his stars the tremors felt in Calcutta were not destructive enough. Or else his laziness would have made him pay the final price. Very, very cool. I could never be him, try as much as I may.

Oh and do you know it’s also ‘Happy Earthquake Day’? Another status informed me this. People around me are so intelligent! I wonder where they get their brains from.

These are just two gems out of the countless sparkling stones lying around!

I had so many things to do. And instead all I did was feel gut-wrenchingly sad about all those people who lost their lives, saw their lives fall apart within seconds, are still trying to locate their loved ones, have been stranded and are waiting for help, are looking for the gleam of hope through the mount of rubble, are seeing the might of the Earth first hand. Where’s the proof that I did feel this? Where’s the evidence on the internet about it? I guess this is my evidence.

I did it. I did what all of us so calmly do these days. I just reduced the loss of countless lives to a few dozens of words.

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : How will our souls ever rest in peace?

At God’s Door.

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AT GOD’S DOOR.

The Sun scorches my body,
I shield my eyes with my hand,
Flicking away the black ants,
Which crawl over me uninvited.

The tattered cloth barely covers my nakedness,
I writhe and lie in pain,
The Gods I have resigned to,
Lying in front of His sacred precinct.

A shadow falls over me,
There’s a respite for a while,
I open my eyes to see a towering figure,
Back towards me in black,

Maybe my time has come along,
Was that the God of Death I see?
Was I to be finally relieved,
Of the life of pain and suffering?

I hear the clanging of coins,
Was that a Messiah instead giving me money?
I crane my neck to look beside me,
But there’s no sign of the silver metal.

The striking pain in my neck is back,
Where I hurt myself from that wretched, jagged piece of rock,
I put my head on the ground again,
That figure in black still present.

Alas! The Sun is back on me,
That was a mere mortal,
Pursuing God for problems of his own,
While my life continues to take the life out of me.

Almost every day, I see  a poor, old man lying right in front of a religious place (which I refuse to mention because of it’s complete irrelevance) and many people like me pass him by with our own problems raging in our heads. I’m not proud of it. At all.

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : This isn’t a post about religion. Or faith. It is about humanity. Or our lack of it.

 

Love not lost.

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You knew all along,
How much I loved you,
Yet you feigned ignorance for so long,
Hoping time would make me grow over you.

You were wrong to have turned me away,
Your love which was mine always going strong,
Your heart kept beating and throbbing my way,
Until it was too late and things went wrong.

To this day when I read your words,
The pain in your eyes comes floating across,
They’ve all grown – the trees, the flowers, the birds,
The grief you burdened alone still leaves me at a loss.

Every time I pass by your grave,
The yellow lilies, my favourite I leave,
I put on a front that’s smiling and brave,
Heavy breaths and a broken heart I heave.

In a small corner of my broken heart,
You’ll always have a place to live,
We may be worlds apart,
But you’ve reposed in me all the love I could give.

Graciously Yours!

The Silent Mourner.

Innumerable people I meet,

Yet I can never stop thinking about you,

Innumerable words I speak,

Yet I can never get tired of wanting to listen to you.

 

You were the one,

Who loved me for what I was.

You were the one,

Who made me realize what I could be.

 

I always thought we would be together,

For the sake of not me, not you, but for the promises we’d made,

In life or in death to be together,

And in sickness and health.

 

Love had led me to you,

God had I thanked with all my heart,

Death is what took away you,

All I have is my life crumbled around.

 

The shining stars beckon me,

The massive seas allure me,

All I need to do is stop one single breath,

But then the last whiff of you would be gone too!

 

 

Graciously Yours!

Till death do us part…

Exactly a year ago, not everything ended well for Reeva Steenkamp, girlfriend of famous Paralympic Oscar Pistorius, the Posh and Becks couple of South Africa.

She was found dead in the arms of her love. Oscar looked shattered. Their place was a mess, his clothes blood-soaked, the bathroom door broken, her body riddled with bullets, cricket bats and guns lying around. The world was divided. Still is. Some say it was premeditated. Some say it was accidental.

Twist of fate.

I say it was sad. Sad for Reeva, Oscar, their families, friends. Sad for the ones who had to closely witness something so heart-wrenching on a day of love. Sad for the innumerable people who lost their inspiration in Oscar that day. Which man in his right frame of mind would premeditate the murder of his girlfriend in a manner he knew would point back right at him? And a man with Oscar’s courage and mental strength, which got him game ready to compete against able-bodied athletes at the Olympics, definitely has the right frame of mind.

But I am not defending him. He has lost a lot. And so has Reeva.

He his love. She her life.

Maybe love for Oscar will never be the same again. This day definitely won’t.

Maybe he will learn to live with what happened that day. With what he did. With the life he took away.

Maybe Reeva will forgive him for what happened. Maybe already has. Maybe he knows. Maybe he’ll come to terms with it.

A lot of maybe’s, a lot of hope, a lot of strength, a lot of empathy.

For the way things ended. For them. Between them.

Not everything ends well…

Picture Courtesy — http://healingoutcomes.com