50 shades.

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My Twin Soul (read more, here) was being persistently intrigued by something when she pinged me about it :

What’s going on exactly? First there are people who think it’s wrong to watch porn. Then the 50 shades series is bought and sold openly in public. People are okay reading that. And then they are eagerly waiting for the movie! Are we modernising? Or westernising? Or are people being hypocrites? They are the same people who make up India, a country where sex is still a taboo. Are we basically indecisive?

Eager to know what others thought, we sent it to friends. Male. Female. Young. Opinionated. Or so we thought.

Guy 1 : It’s entirely somebody’s personal choice whether they want to watch porn or not. You should not judge someone if they say they watch porn. Technically, 50 shades is more of an uncensored Hollywood movie than porn. It’s cool with me if even a girl chooses to watch 50 shades over a Bollywood flick.

Girl 1 : Hehe.

Somehow she seemed to have missed those question marks.

Guy 2 : Largely Indecisive. And hypocritical. Not to mention absolutely desperate.

Girl 2 : Indecisive, definitely.

Guy 3 : We maybe modernizing in a lot of ways but we haven’t made much progress when it comes to our way of thinking. I won’t say indecisive… We know it and may want it but we just don’t want to aceept that we agree to this.

Girl 3 :

Oh sorry. None of the other girls ( at least 5) responsed.

Guy 4 : We are a sex starved nation.
We try to downplay such urges as we try to be righteous. But after all such books fan our deep rooted dark desires. That’s why the books are best sellers in a country like India.

That was sensible wasn’t it? Hence, I call him Mr. Sensible. You’d know who he was if only you’d read more about the Twin Soul.

Yes, I believe we’re a sex starved nation. In our country, we can’t even discuss casually about sex among friends. A lip lock or the silhouette of a couple in a steaming shower room is viewed with blushed cheeks and hesitant eyes. You know what I mean? So I find it strange when I see  Facebook walls ascribed with how they can’t wait to see what follows the ‘steamy’ trailers. Now, talking about something as kinky as BDSM seems like the thing to do.

So are we modernizing? Or westernizing? No. Not right now, at least. I think we’re tweaking ourselves slightly to suit our social (status) needs. Actually, following books and films like 50 shades serves dual purposes for us. Firstly, it helps us keep ourselves abreast of the latest global trends. Secondly, it gives us the chance to believe that (suddenly) it really is okay to talk about the taboo. Talking or have pretense discussions about sex no longer is taboo. But for how long?

I believe that when the excitement wears off, when the trends change to a flat nosed evil or a sparkling vampire, when the film has been devoured and criticized up to the hilt, the blushed cheeks and hesitant eyes will return.

But that’s just me. What do you think? Or are you as un-opinionated as some of the people I came across?

As always,

Graciously Yours!

P.S. : Tremendous respect for the guys for answering the way they did! They weren’t easy questions coming from girls.

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7 thoughts on “50 shades.”

  1. I don’t believe this is restricted to India. Other countries might be more open about sexuality but BDSM is still pretty taboo. Also, the primary audience of 50 Shades is middle aged women and impressionable teens, both of whom seem lured in by tantalising glimpses of a “forbidden lifestyle”. I think this is human tendency, just that it seems amplified in many Indians’ case because they are repressed about pretty much anything to do with bodily functions. Imagine the reception in North Korea.
    What really irks me is how much misinformation is there in the books and the dangerous ideas it can give people. There are so many levels to D/s relationships but they are always safe, sane and consensual; the book covers none of these themes. It makes psychological abuse seem like an expression of love. It glorifies a lot of things women should be running away from. “Oh, he’s just a tortured soul that can’t express himself normally and I can fix him.” “He’s so jealous and possessive because he loves me too much.” There’s going to be a large number of people thinking these are romance now. Cripes.
    Woman #1, I suppose.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a really valid point you’ve raised, Jane! Often we fall to such generalized versions of romance than follow our own instincts about someone. Which can be really fatal.

      Thank you for dropping by!

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  2. My wife and I have talked about this a few times. She has read all of the books and believe the writing style was pretty bad. Lol. Writing aside, she feels the audience going cuckoo for cocoa puffs, typically falls in line with those with repressive sexual desires. She obviously does not mean every single woman, but she believes a good portion are women with subpar or meaningless sex lives.

    With that said, since I have not read, nor care to, I think the people who read but criticize anyone who watches porn–they are hypocrits.

    The books from my understanding, are the literary representation of visual porn. It is like the tea calling the kettle black. It is one thing if you read the material, and not pass judgment for others who seek these sexual desires in other mediums, but to criticize…well, that is hypocrisy.

    Sex is a beautiful thing, but far too many cultures shun the discussion, it makes everyone go sex crazed. That leads to major consequences

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    1. Neither have I read the book. Not because I think sex is a taboo or that you cannot read porn, but more so because when I read the reviews of the book I decided that I’d rather not waste my time reading another book which doesn’t appeal to my common sense. (I had just finished the Twilight series then. Read on request of friends and the sky rocketing sales all over the world.)

      Like

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